dark nights

(picture again courtesy of James Jean of Fables)
Money doesn't buy happiness, sure. But it gets rid of a bunch of "being broke" problems. I don;t think I've ever been penniless for so long in my life. And it's not like just not having money and being able to ask your parents for money later. There is no safety net, or someone else to ask about it. Just you. (or me in this case).

I've been pretty lucky that I'm at Feinstein in a way. They're always ordering food. And I am there to take the left overs. There are usually plenty of left overs. And recently there have been a bunch of events. So I've been able to eat by the food I've taken myself mainly. If there wasn;t that. Who knows. My roomates share all the food. But it would just look bad, me eating everything and bringing nothing to the party per say. Oh and I haven't been able to pay rent because of dipshit sovereign bank and fucking americorp.

Not being able to go out in any real way sucks. A lot. What 20-something doesn't go out? All week? Especially on the weekends ? Unheard of. And damn painful. Working this shitty job is bad enough. Then I come home to just sit around. Read a little. Maybe watch the same 20 dvds again. I never thought I'd watch season 1,2, and 5 of the Simpsons. Not that I hate the show. I just don;t watch it that much. But since that's all we have in the house and no cable....it's slim pickings.

Americorp makes me realize how much I depend on money do do things when I want to as opposed to doing things I can do. I never loved money. But now I know that I would prefer to have it. Americorp, I think did the opposite of what it thought it would. Living at the "poverty level" didn't get me closer to the level of the people that I supposed to be serving. It just makes me realize I want to make money enough to make me comfortable. And to think twice before volunteering to do anything; especially long term. This year kind of killed service work for me. What the fuck.

Now it's "Fuck Bitches, Get Money" time.

Grimey.